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weekend open thread – August 20-21, 2022 — Ask a Supervisor


How do you react when any person does one thing so out of line that it leaves you speechless, and continues pushing it farther and farther albeit you already cringe at the start of it?

Current instance: there may be an open web discussion board whose members generally manage an off-the-cuff assembly in individual. One of many long-term contributors, Ann, has noticed in a single dialogue that Brenda is organizing a gathering in a pub in her space (which is at about 100 km distance of Ann’s), tagged as “the assembly of Metropolis B. and its buddies”. Ann then opens one other dialogue mainly reprimanding Brenda for not saying the assembly publicly and for leaving her, Ann, out of it. Brenda then counters that: she did point out the assembly in an open dialogue and it was not her intention to depart anybody out however assumed that because of the distance the assembly could be attention-grabbing primarily to locals, however that in fact if Ann or anybody else desires to come back, please ship Brenda a mail and Brenda will ship again the time and place of the assembly, as she doesn’t need to publish it freely for safety causes. Brenda does this in a standard, non-confrontational manner.

Ann insists that it was terrible from Brenda to not announce the occasion publicly, that she, Ann, does probably not imply to come back (!) however that she feels slighted that she was overlooked, and begins mocking Brenda’s safety causes. Then Claire chimes in additionally reprimanding Brenda, stating she feels “slighted” and pronounces a date of her personal assembly.

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Brenda stays calm and provides Ann, Claire and everybody else that if they need, they will ship her a mail and she is going to ship them again the directions.

I do know that it’s JUST web and that it’s potential (and possibly one of the best factor) to remain fully out of it, nevertheless it bugs me that for my part, Ann and Claire are appearing enormously and stupidly entitled, and virtually nobody appears to name them out for it (in such a case they turn into aggressive and it’s troublesome to name them out and stay calm) . After which they arrive again and touch upon a unique matter and other people talk about with them as if nothing occurred.

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They and their behaviour are the explanation why I’m not an lively member of this discussion board years in the past, as a result of if I noticed such behaviour I at all times tried to name it out, however led to infinite absurd “below-belt” discussions and I discovered it very troublesome to stay truthful and never do something that could possibly be rightfully seen as “under belt”.

What was most troublesome to deal with for me was that after many situations of that nature Ann and Claire nonetheless appear revered members of the discussion board – if I did a tenth of what they’re doing I’d be crawling underneath a stone, however folks maintain interacting with them as if nothing occurred, so in my eyes, they’re getting away with it.

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My resolution was to depart the discussion board as I thought-about the environment poisonous and I used to be unable to let sure behaviour go, however then I used to be seen because the troublemaker relatively than what was in my eyes the actual troublemaking.

Do you suppose there’s a completely different resolution to cope with such folks, or that the one chance is to run?