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my worker retains trash-talking herself — Ask a Supervisor


my worker retains trash-talking herself

A reader writes:

I handle an worker who engages in fixed defeatist self-talk, though her work is stellar. It’s clear that she is a really anxious particular person and that’s distorting her view of actuality. However it’s irritating and upsetting as a supervisor. Each interplay, even routine ones, is about her emotions: As an alternative of “Ought to I cope with Ticket X or Ticket Y first?” it’s “I’m so sorry to hassle you, I do know it is a silly query, sorry, however ought to I cope with Ticket X or Ticket Y?” Ignoring it hasn’t labored (“Ticket X, thanks!”); reassuring hasn’t labored (“You’re not bothering me and it’s not a silly query”) and even elevating it in her in any other case wonderful efficiency overview hasn’t labored. She simply finally ends up apologizing for the truth that she’s apologizing.

Seeing her identify in my inbox and imagining the cascade of self-hatred that’s going to preface a superbly cheap request offers me a knot in my abdomen and is making me dread working along with her. Is there something I can do to make this higher?

I reply this query — and three others — over at Inc. at this time, the place I’m revisiting letters which were buried within the archives right here from years in the past (and generally updating/increasing my solutions to them). You can learn it right here.

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Different questions I’m answering there at this time embody:

  • Job candidate desires an replace, however I’m unsure of my reply but
  • Receptionist retains shopping for me espresso and gained’t let me pay
  • My contact added me to a Fb group for mothers in my discipline — and it’s horrible